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Joke of the Week: Prayers Can Come True
One evening as Jack passed little Tommy's bedroom he overheard his son praying, "God bless Mummy, God bless Daddy, and God bless Grandma. Bye bye Grandpa."
The Dad wasn't quite sure what Tommy meant by this, but was pleased to see his son praying. However, the next morning, they found Grandpa dead on the floor after suffering a heart attack. Jack was rather spooked but convinced himself that it was just a coincidence. The next night, he heard Tommy praying again: "God bless Mummy, God bless Daddy. Bye bye Grandma." Jack was getting worried now, but decided to just wait and see what transpired. He awoke early and went to check on Gradma, sure enough she was laying dead on the floor after suffering a heart attack. Jack was really scared now and made sure that he was listening outside Tommy's bedroom door when he prayed that night. His worst fears were realised when Tommy said, "God bless Mummy. Bye bye Daddy." Now Jack was terrified. He couldn't sleep at all that night and went to the doctor's first thing the next morning for a check up. After getting a clean bill of health from the doctor he went to work and spent the day being exceedingly careful. When he finally arrived home that evening his wife was waiting at the front door. "Thank God you're home," She said, "We've had another terrible day here. The postman dropped dead on our drive this morning!" |
A very simple project is to compare different types of paper towels. See which ones absorbed the most liquid and wiped up the most food, and also compare prices. Which one is the best value for how well it works?
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Three mothers were sitting around comparing notes on their exemplary offspring.
"There never was a daughter more devoted than my Alice," said Mrs. Davis with a sniff. "Every summer she takes me to the Catskills for a week, and every winter we spend a week at Delray Beach ." "That's nothing compared to what my Anna does for me," declared Mrs. Jones proudly. "Every winter she treats me to two weeks in Miami , and in the summer two weeks in the Hamptons, in my own private guest house." Mrs. Smith sat back with a proud smile. "Nobody loves her mother like my Jackie does. Nobody." "So what does she do?" asked the two women, turning to her. "Three times a week she gets into a cab, goes to the best psychiatrist in the city, and pays him a hundred and fifty dollars an hour - just to talk about me!” |
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"
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Originally Posted by haidenpratt122
(Post 63422)
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"
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